We all can learn

Welcome to my blog, for the Hop Against Homophobia. I guess it would be all too easy to come out of the gate combative in the current political climate. I’ve seen and read enough to make my blood boil when it comes to the injustices and discrimination being deliberately handed down to the GLBT community. So to be completely contrary, I’m not going to do that.

My post is going to probably be fairly simple compared to some. It’s an apology. It’s for those who I know I’ve hurt without knowing I was even doing it. I’ve never been closed-minded–but I have been shocked, and I made rash decisions that I now regret.

When I was younger, some of the funnest nights I had were spent at the Paper Moon, a gay nightclub where there were some very talented drag queen performers. Not to mention unbelievably gorgeous! The dresses were stunning. I can still remember Monica. That was her stage name. The work she put into her Cher performances…just wow. I recently looked to see if the club even still existed, and couldn’t find it. Yeah, it was that long ago. I never felt out of place and had some very sweet friends there.

Fast forward too many decades to really want to admit to, and I’m still learning. Broadening my understanding, which in the last few years or so has brought to light certain things that I’m still learning about. One of them is  a deeper understanding of the T in the acronym. It’s difficult being who we are, at any level. Peer pressure growing up, parental and societal expectations. Not being transgender, I have no idea the depth of conflict involved with this need to be true to ourselves when a person is locked into a form or identity they just can’t be comfortable in. I do understand it’s not my right or anyone else’s to lay that decision down for another person, though. I am a single person. A singular entity. A committee didn’t raise me. A court didn’t decide my life’s path. The belief that transgender people don’t understand their own needs is ludicrous.

So what’s the connection with the nightclub and the above? Some were gay, two were strictly perfomers in drag because the money, let’s face it–tips rocked for a good show! If I had it, I tipped. And I know there were transgender women, though I never asked. Honestly, it wasn’t important then, still isn’t now. But I’m still learning and reading, which helps me to understand the battles they face, the struggles, and it isn’t just with transgender, but across the GLBT community. Their community is our community, as humans, as people, which means they are our struggles, fights that were creating against ourselves for no one’s good. Everyone deserves respect and the freedom to be their own person.

This is just a very short page out of my growing up experiences. The point I guess I’m making is it doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter then who I was friends with, who I talked to, joked with. And it doesn’t matter now. Being a good person who doesn’t kill kitties is a plus. What genetalia you have, what underwear you wear, or whether you wear heels or combat boots,  be yourself. The people who recognize your personal brand of perfection will love you.

For more about this Hop, HAH, other blogs participating and IDAHO, visit http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/

For my portion, I have a couple things I’m going to do.

  1. For every related (meaningful) comment recieved, I will donate $1 to http://www.truecolorsfund.org/ (up to $50). Please feel free to include your own stories, if you’re so inclined (not required).
  2. I am also giving away my trio set of Beach books: Glitter, The Charlie Factor, and Doing Love Right to a commentor. Please leave an email in the comments section. Use spaces and (dot), (at), (dash), (underscore), etc as needed to avoid spiders picking them up.

The last day to comment is May 20th. If I have an email for the chosen winner (Random.org), I will attempt to contact that person. I will make a post with the winner’s name, so please feel free to check here after the weekend.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy your visits with the numerous authors and people who are supporting the fight against homophobia.

24 thoughts on “We all can learn

  1. When I was a teenager, my brother had so many wonderful friends, many of whom were drag queens. At the time, I was uneducated as to transgender. All I knew was these men performed and often lived wonderfully as women. One in particular I remember because my mom and I used to tease her. Not because she dressed in women’s clothes, but because she dressed better and with more style than we could. She shopped at Nordstroms and wore beautiful outfits and makeup. If you didn’t know, you would never have known she was male. I don’t know what happened to her, but I certainly hope she has gone on to be a happy and healthy person.

  2. I wholeheartedly agree that it is ludicrous that committies and courts should have any say about what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home. I hate the fact the people are bullied for simply being true to themselves.

    juliebites (at) gmail (dot) com

  3. Ages ago, bunch of us used to go to this club that had a drag show at midnight. It was total fun. Anyway, this one night we got to talking to one of performers and he explained that where he was now was a million times better than the country he was born in. He went on to give examples of what he’d live through. Shocked the crap out of us as we were so naive.


  4. “Being a good person who doesn’t kill kitties is a plus.” Yes’m. People are people, and that’s that. Why should people judge by gender, sexuality, age, race, social status, etc.? It doesn’t effect who they are, inside. It doesn’t change the fact that they have emotions and thoughts just like the rest of us. If you’re going to judge someone, at least do it by their words and actions, not things that they didn’t choose.


  5. Thanks for the great blog post… unfortunately there are those who think one chooses to be gay. Regardless, life is about love or at least it should be and we should all be free to love whom we want.

  6. Thank you for taking part in our hop. I hope that this changes one persons way of thinking who than changes someone else’s and that it sets off a chain reaction to make the world we live in a better place for all of human kind.

  7. Thank you to everyone so far who has stopped by! I greatly appreciate your comments and thoughts.

  8. My first encounter with a drag queen was on my honeymoon in New Orleans in 1967. What an eyeopener for a 19 year old from BFE,OK! My husband knew nothing and would not look at them, he was a total dork and no longer around me at least. The ensuing years have given me more knowledge and compassion.
    ocanana at gmail dot com

  9. Thanks for sharing your story with us and taking part in the hop. Hopefully people will continue to learn about tolerance and compassion for others.

  10. You are beautiful. Thank you for taking part in this hop and being brave and kind. Thank you 🙂
    I’ve personally seen students harassed for their love interests or orientation and I have always tried to be a good role model for them all and stand up when I see someone hurting someone. It hurts to watch. I’m glad so many students do the same. It is beautiful to see a student stand up for another student.
    Again, thank you for participating!
    bellaleone4 at gmail dot come

  11. Thanks for joining the hop – I think your donation idea is wonderful. As a bisexual woman I am awed by all the blog support & wonderful visitors and comments I have seen along the way. I’m not entering the giveaway, but I wanted to stop & say hi, and thanks to everyone participating in any way!

  12. Thanks for including transgenders in your post. I had a good friend who was born a male but he identified as a female. She started preparing in high school to one day undergo a sex change and she faced a lot of crap because of the way she dressed and the fact that she didn’t hide the fact that he was supposed to be a she. In her sophomore year of college, she got breast implants and was so happy. She called me up so ecstatic and I went with her to the doc’s. Three months later, I got a call. I lost a wonderful friend that day to a brutal gay bashing. How people can think it’s okay to hurt someone for being GLBT is beyond me. It’s my greatest hope that someday, people like my friend will be able to live out openly and proud with no fear of persecution. I think about her every day and the ways she has inspired me. Thanks so much.

    tiger (dash) chick (dash) 1 (at) hotmail (dot) com

  13. forettarose(at)yahoo(dot)com

    Thank you so much for your post. I have always been supportive of GBLT rights but it was not until my cousin came out and I was older that I became more vocal about it. I hope one day a hop like this one will not be needed.

  14. Being close to someone who is now going throught a sex change, your article hit home. I just want him to be happy, you know.

    contact at mchoule dot com

  15. The acceptance and rights of Transgender people is what’s being currently focused on in Iceland. A few weeks back, a transgender man was beaten up in a bar here, because he was transgender. It was a wake-up call – one that should not have had to be made – and I’m hoping it opened a lot of eyes to the problem transgender people face.

  16. Hey, very creative, the donation thing! I’d never heard of the True Colors foundation before, thank you! I hope everyone else goes to check it out as well. Anyway, just dropped (hopped) by to say hello, loved your insights. I would tell you a story, but there are too many to choose from… Thanks for your support, ;P

  17. Being yourself is very good advice. Hopefully one day everyone will be allowed that luxury without society’s condemnation.

    Thanks for taking part in the hop and for your generosity.

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

  18. Hi Diana,
    Since I’ve got most of your books, don’t enter me in the contest, but I wanted to comment to bump your donation! Thank you for your post. I’ve always considered myself to be very openminded, but recently have decided it’s not enough, I need to be openmouthed as well, and be vocal and let people know how I feel, that homophobia is not acceptable, and needs to stop.

  19. Thank you for posting and focussing on the T group in the LGBTQ! I think they are the ones who face most of the hardships and get so little support, since often even people from the LGB comm react negatively towards them. I can’t imagine how hard it is to realize your body and your gender identification don’t match up and to have people treat you like a freak. Thank you for donating!

    stormymonday (at) gmx (dot) net

  20. Very nice blog post. Thanks for sharing your story. I have a friend who told me that she was bi-sexual after she divorced her husband and met a woman she had a strong connection with and that she would understand if I didn’t want to be friends any more. I just replied with she’s still the same person I’ve been friends with for years, why end a good thing. Sad part is, some of her family did change and disowned her. She’s happy and that’s what’s important to me.

  21. Your post was great, this hop has been very touching and if it makes a difference to just one person I think it will be well worth it.

    peggy1984 (at) live (dot) com

  22. Thank you for sharing your experiences! I for one, adore drag shows! They also introduced me to individuals with beautiful hearts who taught me that lifestyle does not make a person good or bad.

  23. Thanks for participating in this hop. I’m enjoying all the great blog posts.


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